But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
