I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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