oh god the rape fog is back!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
