I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
where are my eyebrows?
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