It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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