Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize