i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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