careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
