i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
