Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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