May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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