Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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