Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
