Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
