I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
