put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
