no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
