She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
