So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
