apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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