better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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