I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
