i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
