Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
