i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
