How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
