nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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