In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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