No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
