I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i now understand why vodka
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
