just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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