She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize