I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
