and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize