The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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