I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
