I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
