Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
whose parrot is this?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
