I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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