your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
