I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
