You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
