The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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