ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
