I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
