my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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