Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
