I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
