i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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