I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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