I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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