It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
