hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
