so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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