i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
