So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
