ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
