I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
