dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
