He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
