I think I am morally bankrupt
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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