Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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