i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
