it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
