well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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